Then and Now

What a difference 30 years can make:

Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.

Then: Keg
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's hot.

Then: The perfect high
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.

Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
Now: Being caught by Hustler magazine.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.

Then: Hoping for a BMW.
Now: Hoping for a BM.

Then: The Grateful Dead.
Now: Dr. Kevorkian.

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.

Then: Growing pot
Now: Growing pot belly

Then: Rolling Stones
Now: Kidney stones

Then: Being called into the principal's office
Now: Calling the principal's office

Then: Peace sign
Now: Mercedes logo

Then: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
Now: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

Then: Taking acid
Now: Taking antacid

Then: Passing the driver's test
Now: Passing the vision test

Then: "Whatever"
Now: "Depends"