Veterinary Hospital Application

Application for Employment at a Veterinary Hospital

1. Do you REALLY think that a vet assistant job consists of petting cute puppies and kittens?

2. Does it bother you to be urinated on?

3. If an animal tried to bite, do you
   1. Smack it
   2. Throw yourself between the doctor and the animal
   3. Run

4. Does the sight of maggots, pus, or blood make you nauseous?

5. Do you mind lifting 100 pounds of dead weight?

6. If you step in poop are you unhappy?

7. How do you feel about leaving work with vomit, anal glands or blood on your clothes. Please answer in 10 words or less.

8. Can you answer phones, take temperatures, draw up vaccines and restrain animals all at the same time?

9. Do you know where to put a thermometer?

10. Are you offended by sudden outbursts of cursing or throwing things?

11. Will your significant other still kiss you hello when you come home covered in hair and smelling like anal glands?

12. Do you realize that a "fecal sample" is something that you take from a dog? It is not something he gives willingly.

13. Do you know what "fecal" means?

14. Do you know that pet owners and southerners have their own vocabulary consisting of words such as "vomick," "Rockwiler," and "distemper-provo"?

If you have answered all these questions and still want the job, then we want you!