The Merlin (Maryland) Dialect is spoken by a mixed population which inhabits a triangular area on the western littoral of the Chesapeake Bay, bounded roughly by a line commencing at Towson's Toyota, then westward to Frederick Mall, thence following the western border of the cable TV franchise and the string of McDonalds' along Route 50 to the Bay. All of these lands and the natives thereof are known as the Land of Merlin.
The Land of Merlin is divided further into semi-tribal areas called Cannies "COUNTIES" (e.g., Ballmer Canny, PeeJee Canny, Hard Canny, etc.). The dialect area is centered on a market center called Glimburny, where the people come on weekends to trade their goods. Because of the numerous words and phrases common to both Merlin Dialect and modern English, linguists have long postulated that there is some kinship between the two.
Speakers of Merlin Dialect are all able to understand standard English from babyhood, chiefly because of their voracious appetite for television. However, they invariably refuse to speak standard English, even with outsiders who obviously do not understand a word they say.
| Ball Tee More = | The City of Baltimore, more commonly known as Balmer, or Baw Duh More |
| Merlin = | Our State |
| Balmorese = | What we're speaking here in our State of Merlin |
| Allanic = | an ocean |
| Am B'Lance = | Takes sick/hurt people to the hospital |
| Arn = | What you do to wrinkled clothes |
| Arnjuice = | from the sunshine tree |
| Arouwn in all directions = | norf, souf, ees, and wess |
| Aspern = | what you take for headaches |
| Bald = | some people like their eggs this way |
| Bawler = | what the plumber calls your furnace |
| Beeno = | a famous railroad |
| Beero = | Bureau (as in FBI or dresser) |
| Brawl = | Broil |
| Bulled Egg = | An egg cooked in water |
| Calf Lick = | bleevers are Protestant, Jewish, and ... |
| Canny = | a state gubmit division, such as Anne Arundel or Prince George's |
| Chest Peak = | A large nearby body of water |
| Chimley = | Structure that Santa comes down |
| Colleyflare = | A white vegetable |
| Crick = | Where the warter runs |
| Downey Owe Shin = | Summertime vacation destination of Ocean City, also known as Ayshun City ("Down to the ocean") |
| Droodle Pork = | Druid Hill Park |
| Drooslem = | city in the Holy Land |
| Duddeney = | yes, he does, duddeney? |
| Elfin = | Large pachyderm at zoo |
| Err = | a time measurement of 60 minutes |
| Excape = | Escape |
| Faren Gins = | Red trucks that put out fires |
| Far place = | requires wood |
| Fard = | area between the eyes and the hairline |
| Farmin = | the people who fight fars |
| Flares = | Tulips, roses, daisies, etc... |
| Ford = | opposite of backward |
| Hairacane = | Hurricane |
| Hi Hon! = | How we always say "hello" |
| Holluntown = | Highland Town |
| Idnit = | it is, idnit? |
| Ignernt = | ignorant |
| Klumya = | Rouse's new city (Columbia) |
| Meer = | what you look at in the morning |
| Munlaw = | married to your fodlaw |
| Nap Lis = | State of Merlin capital, Annapolis |
| Norf Abnew = | North Avenue |
| Numb = | a conjunctive 1st person pronoun: "Aw've bin workin six errors numb tarred." |
| Ole Bay = | What our crabs taste like |
| Oreos = | Not a cookie, but our baseball team |
| Paramore = | Power mower |
| Payment = | That strip of cement that you walk on |
| Pitcher = | Picture |
| Plooshin = | let's get it out of the Che! aspeake |
| PohLeese = | Those guys in uniform that git ya when you're speeding |
| Sarn = | what a pleece car or Farn Gin makes noise with |
| Sem Lem = | Seven Eleven Convenience Store |
| Share = | Hot water that cleans you in the morning |
| Slong = | "good-bye" |
| Sore = | drainage under the street |
| Spearmint = | experiment |
| Star Phone = | Styrofoam |
| Tarnado = | Tornado |
| Tarred = | What happens when you work too hard |
| Telly Phone = | Telephone |
| Warsh = | What we do with dirty clothes |
| Warshnin = | our nation's capital |
| Warter = | The clear liquid we drink, also known as Wooter |
| Winders = | Those glass things that we look out of |
| Wooder = | what you wrench your hands with |
| Yerp = | Europe |
| Youz = | you all |
| Zinc = | where you wrench your hands or warsh your dishes |
Listen and Repeat: