Things a True Southerner Knows

• The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
• Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
• What general direction cattywumpus is.
• That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.

• When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
• How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
• Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.
• Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits !!

• A good dog is worth its weight in gold.
• Real gravy don't come from the store.
• The War of Northern Aggression was over states rights, not slavery.
• When "by and by" is.

• How to handle their "pot likker".
• The difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".
• The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.
• Never to go snipe hunting twice.

• At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
• Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
• You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
• You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

• A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.
• Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
• Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.